Thursday, January 26, 2006

Being Oblivious is a Crucial Part of a Young Girls Life.

Wonderment probably escapes the mind of the readers, what does the title mean? How does it describe this little entry? Well, of course the excitement will explode from your facial expressions once you figure the truth.

That was the most strange beginning I've written in a while. And to tell the truth, only reason for writing because I want to. I have no intelligent thoughts in my mind at this particular moment. I would just like to share with the figment of my life that I find most..surprising I suppose you could say.

There is this man. He has been a grand friend of mine since, two to three years ago. He's stuck with me..and he's just great period. I've had this feeling that his thought of me, was more than just a friend. I never truly exposed myself with this feeling, not wanting to make an assumption that was wrong.
However, recently another friend of mine who does happen to like me as more than a friend, is jealous of this friend of which I am mainly speaking. For the longest time, he knew I was liked by this man..and called me oblivious. Well, at least with my being oblivious I got to keep the man as a friend.

That is all I have to say at the moment. Very pointless entry, but at least it was entered.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Understanding Hatred - the limited feeling.

Last night, I had decided to read the bible. Instead of making me question it, it actually made me believe in it more. It was strange. I guess the reason was all the rambling about how the bible was fake, and giving reasons for it. Making up their interpretations..what they had heard in the past etc. Whilst reading the words in the oldest scripture, and most powerful..I saw that women are supposed to be filled with hatred, or so for the serpent. It made me think about myself, do I feel hatred? Do I know what it is? Do I stop myself from feeling it? Is that a good thing? Am I not whole once I don't feel hatred?

My friend once said "Everyone feels hatred, hatred is a part of life." I tend to disagree with that..I think anger is a part of life, and I think feeling that you do hate is a part of life. But hatred in just a mirage. Just a figment of the imaginative mind. I have once said "You cannot hate without love" if this is true, which I believe it is. That makes hate...a very limited feeling. It's basically just disliking the person at that point in time, feeling anger towards them..feeling like they just need sometime alone. Which, if you know about know there isn't a person in this world that can be on friendly terms with another every single minute of every single day.

I think that gets me to thinking about high school...high school relationships never last, or rarely last. Why? Because they see each other every single day, if they can. And if they don't..then they feel it's not enough. Which is not truly love, because they would respect their distance if it was..and still be sad that they aren't there, but being respectful. They end up dumping a person, because they can not see them everyday. It's drama. You need drama in life, why not fill it up in High school? I say, never get your hopes up in high school..but there is a chance you'll make it.

My friend Sami is getting engaged to this guy. And they fight all the time, they still love each other. That's love. Not stopping for one moment that you do not love each other...just because of a crummy fight.

Here are some quotes I made for her:

"Love can not be in thy heart, without anger in thy mind." - KL
"Love can not be in thy heart. Without objection to thee love." - KL